Over the years, many people have contacted me saying they've been defamed and asking what they can do about it. Below is a sample of their messages and my responses. To preserve anonymity, I've used pseudonyms, changed identifying details and rewritten the messages, often shortening them and making them blander than the original, while retaining the basic stories. Most of these date from quite a few years ago and are from Australians. I've reproduced the sequence of messages, no more or less than the originals. There were no further messages besides the last one given here.
Most of my responses are as I wrote them. Often I referred correspondents to my article "What to do when you've been defamed" but haven't repeated the URL below.
Attacked over a submission about a development
Barred from a gym over slanderous allegations
Online: false terrorism claims
Business defamed by former worker
Neighbour saying terrible things
Hospital managers making life hell
Minister lies about a congregation member
Insulted by relatives of a potential client
Ex-wife making damaging allegations
Business-related libellous messages
Online abusive personal information
This document is located on the suppression of dissent website, which includes other information on defamation.
See also Brian Martin's writings on defamation.
Brian,
I’m a high school teacher. A group of parents held a public meeting, which the principal attended, and made serious allegations about my performance, including uncomplimentary slurs, some even involving my family.
What can I do? I thought of contacting a lawyer, but too many of them are just in it for the money. You can give me an unbiased opinion.
Henry
Henry,
It’s horrible to be attacked. No doubt you could sue but it’s probably your worst option. Have a look at “What to do when you've been defamed” and let me know if you have any questions.
Regards,
Brian
Brian,
Thanks. I read your article and it’s really really helpful. I appreciate all you do. I’ll use your advice and just treat this episode as a learning experience.
Thanks,
Henry
Dear bmartin,
I read your website, which is really informative.
I’m a career coach and see clients at a room in my home. One of them wrote a comment online saying “I saw him for a consultation. What to expect? He’s obese and his place is a mess!” Admittedly, I’m a little overweight but I keep my consultation room neat and tidy. Do I have grounds to sue?
Yours,
Darren
Dear Darren,
Certainly you’ve been defamed, but I think it would be a mistake to sue or threaten to sue. You have two good responses. One is to do nothing; most people won’t take any notice. The other good response is to post a dignified response (assuming that's possible). You might say that’s it’s correct that you're overweight but actually your place is neat. You might also post a photo of your place. If you respond in a way that appears honest, fair and measured, you will gain respect. You also gain visibility.
See also my article “What to do when you’ve been defamed.”
Regards,
Brian
Brian, Thanks for your advice. Much appreciated. Darren
Can you help? Do I have a case to sue for libel?
Regards,
Lionel
Dear Lionel,
See my article "What to do when you’ve been defamed.”
I generally advise against suing, unless you have a lot of money and don’t mind risking a swag of it ($10,000 to $100,000) in the hope of winning even more. Suing won’t necessarily help your reputation.
Feel free to contact me if you’d like me to look at specifics.
Regards,
Brian
Brian,
Thanks. A prominent figure in my town, Dr Young, said I was carrying out an unscrupulous operation, and this was reported in a newspaper. The journalist is sure about it. However, Dr Young wrote a letter to the newspaper retracting the statement, but the paper hasn’t published it.
Should I be pressuring Dr Young or the newspaper? What should I do next if the retraction letter isn’t published soon?
Regards,
Lionel
Lionel,
Sorry to hear about the way the media are treating you.
If the newspaper publishes the apology, well and good.
If not, you have several options.
1. Just ignore the whole matter. Most people will forget about it anyway.
2. Threaten to sue the newspaper. This might produce results.
3. Sue the newspaper. What you should know is that most media detest making retractions, and will fight cases in court at great expense rather than doing so. They often offer settlements that involve payment but no apology. So you might be up for lots of money, lots of angst and no guarantee of an apology.
Another problem is that an apology offered under legal duress doesn’t carry as much weight as one freely offered.
4. Prepare a short, factual, sober statement telling about the claim, the retraction and the newspaper’s refusal to publish a retraction. Send it to the newspaper asking whether it’s accurate. Then - assuming the newspaper doesn’t do anything further - give copies to anyone whose opinion you value and you think might have been influenced by the item in the newspaper.
Regards,
Brian
Brian,
In your experience, do papers ever publish retractions when they’re put under pressure?
Lionel
Lionel,
I think it depends on the paper and the circumstances. I don’t know of any systematic evidence about this and have only pieced together a few bits of information myself. A lawyer for the Sydney Morning Herald once told me they were dealing with numerous defamation cases, I think dozens, at any given time. I don’t recall reading any retractions, so if they occur, they may be obscure and will almost certainly be months or years down the track.
Regards,
Brian
Brian,
If the paper doesn’t publish the retraction letter from Dr Young, does that mean the journalist’s article is correct and I can sue Dr Young?
Lionel
Lionel,
You can sue both the person and the paper. But if Dr Young has apologised, I can’t see much to gain by suing them. Are you trying to protect your reputation or extract some money?
Brian
Brian,
Dr Young didn’t apologise, but just wrote that the quote in the paper wasn’t correct. I’m going to put pressure on the paper to publish the retraction or else.
Lionel
Hi
Can you give me some advice about suing a psychologist? He saw me for only a few minutes and then made defamatory comments about me in a report to the Family Court. I’m not even a party to the proceedings, which involve my wife, her ex-husband and their children.
The psychologist made highly derogatory comments about my character without giving any evidence for them. Is there some way I can get his report withdrawn, or at least the parts about me? Will suing help in achieving this?
Thanks for any information you can provide.
Best regards,
Alfred
Hi Alfred,
Sorry to hear about your troubles.
It’s almost certainly a bad idea to sue the psychologist. Probably he would be protected by qualified privilege, if he made his report as part of a professional duty. (If he made statements to a general audience, that would be a different matter.) Qualified privilege is a defence in a defamation suit.
Even if you could sue, it’s unlikely to be effective in helping your reputation. See my article “What to do when you've been defamed”.
Probably the most useful thing to do is write a sober, factual account presenting your own views and rebutting the psychologist’s, and deliver it to people involved.
Regards,
Brian
Hi Brian,
Thanks for getting back to me. I really appreciate your advice. Your website is very informative.
Best regards,
Alfred
Hello there,
I run a small IT business in Provincetown, Victoria, and I’ve been grievously defamed, and it’s wrecked my business reputation and operations.
Here’s what happened. Several stories appeared in the local newspaper, which is also online as part of a national chain, and Google picked up the story.
Here’s the most important one: Janischelle Rabberty, “Provincetown man charged with child porn offences,” Provincetown Clarion.
Yes, there was a Provincetown man who was charged, and I was mentioned in the article but I had nothing to do with it. I had just serviced this guy’s computer, but got hauled in as if I was a co-conspirator. It’s crazy. The article was published even before I entered the courtroom, based on police interview notes, taken out of context. The problem is that my business operates under my name and every web search for my business brings up this misleading article. I had absolutely nothing to do with the porn. The court case was over a year ago, and I was never convicted of anything, but the damage to my business continued.
I’m looking for advice on whether it would be worth suing the newspaper, the chain, Google or the journalist. My goal is the removal of the article and some payment for my losses, which are considerable.
Michael
Hello Michael,
Please have a look at my articles at http://www.bmartin.cc/pubs/defamation.html. The article “What to do when you’ve been defamed” summarises my general recommendations.
You have several options, which I’ll classify as attack, reply, request, overwhelm and avoid.
Attack: that means suing. It may be that you can’t under current defamation laws because it’s been more than a year since the publication of the article. In any case, I’d recommend against suing. It will cost you tens of thousands of dollars (especially because newspapers usually defend strongly), will take years of time and trauma, and is unlikely to help your reputation. In fact, it could hurt your reputation by generating further media stories reporting a court case. Have a look at the articles by Truda Gray and me on making defamation actions backfire.
Reply: that means providing an explanation of the real story (your version). Basically, you could write up a short account of what actually happened and give this to friends, clients and others. You could also post it on a website. The advantage of this is presenting your story. The disadvantage is raising the issue further, so it becomes connected in people’s minds with you even more than now.
Request: this means asking for changes you’d like. It is useless approaching Google about this. However, it might be worth contacting the newspaper and asking whether they would either delete the passages about you in the online version of Rabberty’s article (unlikely) or append a statement by you - an erratum or clarification or comment (possible). This might be worth trying.
Overwhelm: this means getting yourself mentioned on other websites, so that the Rabberty article doesn’t come so high up on a search. You could set up your own website (and include your reply if you wanted to). You could try to get in the news for good deeds. You could ask your friends to mention you on their websites. And you could ask your friends to make links to all these positive mentions of you. Google and other engines list links in order of how many other sites link to them, so it will take time to create a positive profile, but it can be done.
Avoid: you could change your name for trade purposes. You wouldn’t need to change your name legally. All you’d need to do is be known to people by a different name, e.g. Frank or your middle name.
You can probably tell from my comments that I think requesting is worth trying, overwhelming and/or avoiding are your most reliable options, replying is possible but risky, and attacking could be disastrous financially and in its effect on your reputation.
I make these comments based on my experiences with hundreds of cases and my knowledge of the Internet. I’m not a lawyer but I have learned a lot about defamation. It’s not a pretty scene. Of course you know that.
Regards,
Brian
Hi there Brian,
Thank you so very much for your time and effort spent replying to my email. Actually, I found your contact through your articles.
I decided on the request option. Using the email I sent you, I requested the removal of the story mentioning me from the media website, and I’ve contacted Google, using Google’s guide for getting URLs removed. Then I’m going to get my social media friends to click on Google links other than the toxic one, hopefully to bury it.
Thank you so much again for your time and effort.
Regards
Mike
Hello Brian,
I read your article about defamation and have a question.
In a custody dispute being heard by the Family Court, my former wife and two of her relatives submitted affidavits saying I had sexually assaulted my own daughter, who is just four years old. I never did anything of the sort. Investigations by the police and child-protection services cleared me completely.
Can I seek damages for my ex-wife’s defamatory allegations? What standard of proof would be required?
Regards,
Colin
Hello Colin,
My guess is that legally you have little recourse, if the affidavits were used only in the Family Court process, because they would be protected by qualified privilege.
If the allegations were made outside the court, to other audiences, then you would have a case for suing. However, it still might not be a good idea.
Please have a look at my article “What to do when you’ve been defamed”.
If the allegations were only made in the custody dispute, then you should consider doing nothing further. If others know about the allegations, you could prepare a short statement alerting them to your being cleared by the police and child-protection investigation.
The risk in responding too strongly or widely is that you broadcast the allegations to people who might otherwise not know about them.
I’m not a lawyer, so this isn’t formal legal advice. My comments are based on hearing from hundreds of people concerning defamation problems.
Cheers,
Brian
Brian, I agreed to talk to a reporter and thought the story would just be there for a day. But here it is two years later and the story is available online, and anyone can find it when they put my name into Google. When my young children grow up, I don’t want them to search for my name and read this stuff. It might hurt my career too. Is there any way I can get this removed? I rang the reporter and I emailed Google, but they refused to help. Can you give me some advice?
Glenda Strithammar
Dear Glenda,
I’m sorry to hear about your difficulty. You were trying to do the right thing by telling others about the way you’ve turned around your life. In the old days, a newspaper article would be here today and forgotten tomorrow. But with the Internet and digital archiving of newspapers, stories are seemingly never forgotten.
Here are several options you might consider.
1. Change your name. A small change might be enough, for example "Strithammar" to "Strithammer" or "Glenda" to "Glen". Or you might start going by your middle name. If you adopt a new name - legally or just among friends and family - then people are less likely to connect information about the old name with you. It’s not a guarantee, because legally you have to give your proper name on some documents.
2. Get the story off the web. This is extremely difficult, as you’ve already discovered. Google won’t do anything about it - and there are other search engines too. The newspaper probably won’t alter its archives because it would set a precedent for others.
3. Set up your own website. Get a friend to help you choose a site, prepare text and include pictures, etc. You can say what you like about yourself. Get your friends who have sites to make links to yours. Do this gradually - make it a good, well constructed site bit by bit, over a period of months and years. Before long, the first hit on Google will be your site.
Get friends who have sites to mention you on their sites. These pages will also be picked up by Google. If you slowly but surely have more mentions on the web, eventually the newspaper story will drop down the list in searches and seldom be noticed.
One advantage of having your own site is that you can present your preferred image of yourself. You can make a decision about whether to mention your past and, if so, exactly what to say and how to say it.
4. Turn your past into an asset: acknowledge it but emphasise how you’ve changed. Invite others to support you to maintain your new life. Help others to make a similar transition.
***
I took the liberty of showing a printed copy of your email to three friends, Alice, Betty and Claudia. They were appalled by the way you’re unable to escape the record of your past. They made a few additional comments.
Regarding option 4, Alice said this might work for movie stars and others who are prominent - if you’re famous, some bad deeds in the past seem add to a person’s mystique - but not for a lot of ordinary people. Alice works in a service that deals with people who are struggling against disadvantage. She says the past is often held against them.
Alice and Betty said that at some point you will need to tell your kids something about your past, but it would be better to wait until they’re older.
Anyway, these are some options for you to consider. You can see that I think options 1 and 3 are the most promising.
There are many people in the world who want to help others make the best out of their life and don’t hold the past against them. Try to surround yourself and your kids with these sorts of people. If your kids learn to be understanding, forgiving and compassionate, that’s an excellent sort of protection.
Best wishes,
Brian
Brian, Thank you so much for your help. I will look into these options straightaway. They give me some hope, and some understanding. Thanks so much.
Dear Brian,
I’ve been targeted by an aggressive developer. There was a development proposal in my area [in Australia] and I made a submission to Council objecting to it. The council staff supported the proposal but the elected councillors narrowly rejected it, and the developer was angry and I was personally attacked in a Facebook group. The attacks were so vicious that they affected my family, none of whom had anything to do with my submission. They seem to be targeting family members to get at me. It is so unfair.
It got worse. The developer has friends in Britain who wrote to me demanding that I withdraw my submission and instead support the development. How absurd! But you can imagine, this was worrying, as I didn’t know how far they would stoop in applying pressure. I was tempted to see a lawyer to defend my freedom of speech by suing for defamation. The developer has challenged the Council’s decision in court, so it seems that silencing me is part of their campaign.
As you can imagine, I was very interested to read your material about defamation and free speech. Can you offer me any tips?
Regards,
Zachary
Dear Zachary,
I’m sorry to hear that you’ve come under attack. Have you had a look at my piece “What to do when you’ve been defamed”?
Suing is usually a very bad idea, especially against an opponent with more money. It’s often useful to reply calmly and factually in the same venue as the attacker. Alternatively, send your response to people who are reading the developer’s comments. You might put up a website if other avenues are not convenient.
Of course you need to be careful not to defame the developer. So it’s safest to stick to factual statements about yourself. You haven’t told me exactly what the developer is saying, so it’s hard for me to be more specific.
You might look at writing about SLAPPs (Strategic Lawsuits Against Public Participation) for insight into what’s happening. Treat the attacks as an attempt at shutting you up - a type of censorship - and have a look at the articles about censorship backfire on my website (https://www.bmartin.cc/pubs/backfire.html).
Regards,
Brian
Brian,
Thank you for your response, which is very reassuring. Never before have I come under attack like this, over something as little as writing a submission to the local Council.
I could hardly believe that something like this was happening in Australia.
The development is in a place where I and my family members live, and the developer is the community association that runs it. Basically, the developer wants to expand its operations here, but its application was woefully inadequate, leaving out some important facts. They didn’t like it when I pointed this out during some online discussions. Rather than countering my statements, all they did was attack me personally with ridiculous questions like “Why are you doing this to us?” and “You’re responsible for all our trouble.” This wouldn’t bother me, but the attacks on my family members disturbed me, as they are copping it worse.
My guess is that this isn’t the first time this developer has behaved this way. Should I go to the Council for support?
Once again, thank you kindly for your time and valuable suggestions.
Regards
Zachary
Zachary,
I imagine the sort of thing you’re going through is pretty common, but it’s very hard to obtain any figures.
Be thankful that you haven’t been sued. That’s the essence of SLAPPs: groundless legal actions intended to intimidate the target: someone who spoke out, sometimes even by just signing a petition.
You’ve said the attacks haven’t addressed the content of what you said and have been directed against you personally and your family. Say that. Pointing out the nature of their response is a powerful way to undermine it.
Keep cool. You don’t want to provide any pretext for being sued. Just as importantly, being seen to be objective and unflustered is a potent counter to attacks, making them seen more objectionable.
I think it would be a good idea to bring your family into the discussion, telling them why you think these things have been happening and canvassing options for responding. Maybe you’ve done this already.
The next step is to invite some of their friends to the table to discuss it all - information and possible responses - starting with a few trusted friends and gradually broadening the net. This is an effective way to offer support and to counter the attacks.
Regards,
Brian
G’day mate,
I’ve been going to the same gym for over a decade. One of the instructors took a dislike to me after we had a disagreement. He told the owner of the gym that two patrons had complained about me about hogging equipment, and the owner barred me from the gym. It’s been an important part of my life. I know I could go elsewhere, but not easily and I’d lose contact with friends.
Surely the instructor has slandered me. I found out that neither of the two patrons had made a formal complaint. What do you reckon?
Cheerio,
Jackson
Dear Jackson,
I’m sorry to hear about your difficulties with the gym.
Threatening to sue for defamation almost certainly will make things worse for you. See “What to do when you’ve been defamed.”
The following seem like reasonable options to me. Which way to proceed depends on your assessment of the situation.
* Talk with friends about options.
* Be prepared to apologise for any wrong you might have committed, even if inadvertent. It’s often wise to apologise even if you think you have nothing to apologise for. Doing this can open the door to reciprocal responses.
* It’s usually best to approach the key person first, in your case the gym instructor. You should try to reach an agreement on a way forward. If meeting face to face is risky (because one of you might get angry), then you could consider sending a letter or having a friend make a representation for you.
* Your next port of call is the owner. If you’ve reached an agreement with the instructor, then you can both see the owner. Alternatively, you might send a letter or have a friend go on your behalf. If you have statements from the two complainants, that could be helpful.
* As you proceed, keep consulting with friends about options.
Like you, I value keeping fit and meeting friends. Making some apologies and compromises seems like a small price to maintain these. If you behave honourably, others will respect that, whatever the formalities. But of course the choice is yours.
Best wishes,
Brian
G’day Brian,
Thanks for your great advice. It seems like common sense. Suing would be scary and risky, with no winners except lawyers.
I’ve drafted a letter (attached) to send to the owner by registered post. What do you think? I wanted him to acknowledge that he received false complaints, because that’s how I was slandered.
Some of my friends have gone to the owner, but I’m not sure whether that’s done any good. It’s all very hurtful and I’m missing my workouts.
Hi Jackson,
My preference would be to try everything possible verbally before putting anything in writing. When disputants start communicating by letter, it’s a sign that problems are serious and much harder to fix. As soon you write down all the complaints, it makes them more real (even if they aren’t). Also, you put the owner in a spot, which makes it harder for him to back down. While things are not written, it’s easier just to forget about many of them, which allows you to concentrate on the key issues of concern. So my inclination would be to hold off on the letter and try all the informal ways you and your supporters can. And keep consulting with them.
Regards,
Brian
Ta Brian. Good on ya.
Hi Brian,
What’s the story on defamation in affidavits? What if people make false and harmful comments in an affidavit signed before a justice of the peace?
Regards,
Clara
Hi Clara,
From what I know, affidavits are the same as any other document as far as defamation is concerned. (I’m not a lawyer but I’ve never heard anything to the contrary.) If statements in an affidavit are damaging to someone and are communicated to a third party, that’s defamation.
The person signing the affidavit could defend on the basis of truth, in the usual way.
I always strongly advise against suing as a response to being defamed. It seldom helps your reputation, is slow, expensive and can even make things worse. See my article “What to do when you've been defamed.”
Regards,
Brian
Hi Brian,
When I searched for my name online recently, a link came up to this article from three years ago:
www.oznews/news/national/terrorist-suspects-indicted [not the actual link]
However, I was not involved in anything to do with terrorism and certainly not with the incident referred to in this article. It was a mistake. I was convicted of a different offence at a completely different time.
How could the newspaper make this mistake? It’s libel, isn’t it? A friend of mine sent me a list of lawyers in my area. Do you think I should pursue this?
Philip
Hi Philip,
In terms of the law, you could sue. But is it a good idea?
To sue, you need to have plenty of money (tens of thousands, potentially) and be prepared to lose it in a gamble that you might win some. The whole process will take years and use up lots of your time when you might be doing other worthwhile things. Large newspapers are sued all the time. They have lawyers who deal with these sorts of cases regularly and they will spin the matter out so it will be costly for you.
I'm not sure you'd be awarded very much even if you won, because a judge might think your reputation hasn't been hurt all that much.
Furthermore, it would just make more people aware of the claims against you. If Oz News published a correction, would that be better for you?
Be careful of lawyers: they have nothing to lose by running a defamation action, because you have to pay them.
Obviously the choice is yours. These are just my thoughts.
Regards,
Brian
Thanks for your advice, Brian. I’ll figure out what to do.
Regards,
Philip
Dear Brian
My name is Robert. I’m writing to you to see if you can give me some advice. I know you’re busy and would appreciate any ideas or assistance you can offer.
A few years ago, a television channel ran a program claiming that I was making $2000 every day and also receiving unemployment payments. It simply wasn’t true. The journalist refused to accompany me to the government office to check out their claims.
The television crew filmed me at home without me knowing about it. When I discovered them on my property and asked them to leave, they refused. I called the police, who only stood by laughing.
This false media story made me lose job after job, and broke up my marriage. Now the television people are following me again as I’m about to start another job, and I fear they’ll do another hatchet job. What can I do?
Robert
Dear Robert,
I’m sorry to hear about what's happened to you.
Please have a look at my article “What to do when you’ve been defamed.”
I suggest writing a short account of your experiences, gathering documents to support all your claims, and putting the account (and documents, as appropriate) on a website. Get assistance from friends for the writing and web presentation. Stick to facts and focus on the key points.
There are no guarantees but I think this is probably the most effective course of action.
Regards,
Brian
Dear Brian
I wonder if you would care to venture an opinion as to whether the broadcast of the Durkin “Great Global Warming Swindle” could constitute grounds for a class action suit for defamation and damages on behalf of scientists and the professional societies that represent them.
I believe that it may be because it asserts broadly that scientists falsify their data for personal gain. Because scientists working in “public good” research (ecologists, climatologists, etc.) rely substantially on the trust and goodwill of the community to fund their research (and salaries) this could be very damaging. Also, the trust and goodwill between the community and scientists is one of the very few compensations for pursuing a poorly paid and very insecure career path. The loss of, or damage to, this trust and goodwill is, I think, the essence of defamation.
What do you reckon?
Dr Ernest Elgans - a concerned scientist
Dear Ernest,
I’ve never heard of a class action defamation suit, but even if it’s possible I think it would be a mistake. Suing, or making other threats, can easily be painted as censorship and be used to generate greater support for the climate change sceptics. It’s far more effective to respond in a factual, calm, dignified way, using the swindle programme to generate more attention to global warming.
Sue Curry Jansen and I have written a couple of papers about how censorship can backfire. One example is the attacks on Bjorn Lomborg, author of The Skeptical Environmentalist. I don’t agree with Lomborg but I think it was a mistake to attack him personally.
Regards,
Brian
Hi Brian,
I found your article, “Caught in the defamation net” online. It highlights some interesting options for handling sensitive situations.
SuperSupport provides help to companies that want to outsource some of their projects. We have stringent policies that apply to everyone involved, including purchasers and technicians.
We had to suspend a technician because his work was substandard and he behaved unprofessionally about SuperSupport and one of our clients.
He then set up a website, SuperSupportIsCrap, and has been posting libellous material.
What do you think we should do?
Thank you in advance,
Francine
Hi Francine,
On options, you can look at “What to do when you’ve been defamed” and other articles about defamation.
Most of the people who contact me about being defamed have roughly equal power to those defaming them (e.g. an ex-spouse) or have less power. In your case, SuperSupport has far more resources than your former employee, so suing is a possibility. But it may not be the best option, either financially or for SuperSupport’s reputation.
I think it’s worth considering a calm, factual response - on the web. If SuperSupport is seen to be open and honest, then critics will seem less credible.
However, I’m not in a position to advise you beyond this about your best response, because that would require detailed knowledge of the claims and counterclaims involved, which due to other commitments I couldn’t undertake even if I wanted to.
Regards,
Brian
Hi Brian,
We appreciate your feedback.
We decided to ignore the disgruntled technician. His rants haven’t gained any traction, and he seems to be losing motivation to continue with them.
We’ll monitor the situation.
Best regards,
Francine
Hi!! I found your name on the internet. I’m from Vietnam, 28 years old, a single mother with two children. I have a problem. Can you help me? I got into an argument with another woman, a shopkeeper, over a misunderstanding about when I would pay, and she started calling me terrible names, ugly, a whore, an ape who should live in the jungle, and worse, so eventually I decided I needed to sue, to protect my reputation. But I don’t know how to proceed, or how long it will take, or how much it will cost. I will really appreciate your advice. With thanks, Linh
Dear Linh,
I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been verbally abused. It was obviously very upsetting.
Please read my article “What to do when you’ve been defamed”.
Suing is your worst option. It will cost you a lot of money, require months or years, and probably not give you any satisfaction. It might actually hurt your reputation.
Another option is to do nothing - just try to forget.
Another option is to request an apology.
Perhaps there is someone, who knows both you and your neighbour, who can try to find a way to help restore your relationship. Some people, when they become angry, say all sorts of nasty things and don’t realise how much they are hurting you. Sometimes they don’t even remember what they’ve said.
If you have a good reputation with your friends and neighbours, I don’t think you need to worry. Your reputation will not suffer just because someone made nasty comments to you or about you.
If someone is nasty to you, sometimes you can try to be generous and forgive them. If you are able to do this, others will respect you more.
These are just some comments, for your consideration. You need to choose what to do. I hope you will show these comments, and my article, to your friends, and use their advice to help make a decision.
Regards,
Brian
Hi!, thank you so much. I read your article. Yes, I understand suing costs lots of money. I found it more difficult for me to file a case, how expensive is that?
I was so confused. Neighbours and people who heard us fighting have been telling me to sue her so that she shuts up and doesn’t do it again to me and others. She’s unaware of the rules you know, but she shouldn’t do it anyway. I did not say bad things about her, there is no reason for her to be angry with me. I don’t think I can forgive and forget. I paid her for the herbs, later, just like I said I would.
It’s worse because her husband got involved. He wanted me and his wife to fight, and he called me crazy and shouted that he wanted to kill me. When my kids are at school, I don’t go out of the house, but even then he called me a coward for not fighting with his wife.
Anyway, thanks again for your time and advice.
Linh
Dear Mr Martin,
I got involved in a dispute over a payment. This guy Thomas ripped me off to the tune of $2000. We’re in the same club and he should be honest not a cheat. I exposed his fraud in our club’s online forum, and then he responded with abuse, defaming me. What do you suggest that I do?
Yours,
Allen
Dear Allen,
I’ve read the exchange of posts between you and Thomas.
In my opinion, each of you has defamed the other, quite extensively. As soon as you go beyond the facts to attach a judgement - such as calling someone a thief - then you are defaming them. It’s libel in this case because it’s in writing.
Taking the matter further - for example going to court - would, in my opinion, be a serious mistake. The only ones to benefit would be lawyers, especially considering the amount of money involved is so small compared to likely legal fees.
I’m not a lawyer, so I’m not giving formal legal advice.
For future reference: in general it’s far more effective to investigate issues thoroughly - including finding out the other person’s explanation - before going public with an allegation. Then give only facts in a calm, brief account.
Personally, I think the wise thing to do now is let the matter cool, either by doing nothing or by apologising for any mistaken claims you might have made. Others will respect you for being willing to admit the possibility of overreaction.
Judging by the two posts, you are both highly passionate, which means apologies won’t come easily, so doing nothing may be your best option. Escalation, by words or legal actions, will just make things worse.
Regards,
Brian
Dear Brian,
Thanks for your comments. I’ll take your advice to back away from the dispute.
Another question. What’s the story with the website moderators, who left our comments online for several days?
Regards
Allen
Dear Allen,
To respond to your question: I don’t know in this particular case, but often moderators leave posts online until there’s a complaint. They then act, often by removing material that has caused offence to someone, even when they could make a stand if they wanted to. Acquiescing is easier, especially when you’re busy.
Regards,
Brian
Dear Brian,
It’s been three months since I contacted you about my dispute over payment and posting comments on the club’s online forum.
Now I have a new problem. The management committee of the club just wrote to say that I have been expelled from the club and am barred from its venues and activities, and will be charged with trespassing if I show up.
Should I see a lawyer about this?
Thanks for your advice.
Allen
Dear Allen,
I don’t know what’s behind the club’s decision.
In my opinion, using legal action would be a waste of money. It will make you even more unpopular in the club.
By suing, you show that you really care about being able to attend club events. Why give them the satisfaction? I think it would be more effective to take the attitude that you wouldn’t want to go to any club like that anyway.
You should think about ways to win friends at the club. I don’t know the best ways to do that, but taking legal action isn’t likely to be one of them.
This is just my opinion, at a distance.
Regards, Brian
Hi!
Are you able to help me? I think I’ve been slandered and don’t know what to do.
I work as a medical technician. One day when I arrived at work I was called to a meeting with two hospital managers. They told me that I was being stood down from my position because there had been a call from a teenage girl making some claims about my behaviour. These two managers then held a meeting with all the staff in my section saying that I was being stood down while awaiting a police investigation.
The next day, I contacted the police about it. They told me that it was ridiculous to imagine that there would ever be a police investigation; they had never considered it. They had just filed the girl’s claims in their computer system and left it at that because these sorts of things happen all the time.
It took more than a week for the health administrators to confirm with me what the police had told me, but they never told my co-workers that they had told them anything wrong. Surely they should have confirmed with the police that there would be an investigation before standing me down and announcing it to my colleagues.
I’ve been severely affected by this episode, both physically and mentally, and it’s also affected my family. These hospital managers made me appear to be a common criminal. Is there anything I can do? Are they guilty of slander?
Thank you,
Michelle
Hi Michelle,
I’m sorry to hear about what happened and the drastic effect on you and your family.
No doubt you’ve been slandered, but without better evidence you would have no chance in court. Even if you had ironclad evidence, suing wouldn’t be a good idea.
See my little article “What to do when you’ve been defamed”.
I think there are two courses of action you should consider.
1. Do nothing. Just pretend the allegations don’t bother you. Don’t let anyone feel they’ve gotten to you. (If you pretend long enough, eventually you’ll feel stronger.)
2. Prepare a short account - a couple of paragraphs - telling what happened, without making any allegations about anyone. The basic message should be that you are blameless. Check it with several people to make sure it’s accurate and has the right non-judgemental tone, because the way you say things influences how people think about you, either honest or upset or vindictive. (Send it to me for comment if you like.) Then make copies and give them to anyone who you think might have been influenced by the events and doesn’t know the real story.
You’ve been wronged, but it sounds like one of those cases in which those to blame can’t be held officially accountable. So the best you can do is to behave with dignity. People who care will be influenced by that. Your best justice is through the “court of public opinion”.
Best wishes
Brian
Brian,
Thank you so much. I really appreciate you getting back to me. You refer to better evidence. What if the workers at the meeting were asked what the managers said and they totally supported what I’ve told you? Does that make any difference?
Thank you,
Michelle
Michelle,
If you can obtain written statements from staff who attended the meeting, then you can make stronger statements in the short account that you write.
Suing would still be a lose-lose proposition.
Regards,
Brian
Brian,
I’ve drafted a statement to my colleagues. Is this any good? Thanks for your help!
***
Colleagues,
On Tuesday 14 May 2013, management advised you I was stood down on full pay awaiting a police investigation. This statement by management was wrong then and is wrong now. I contacted the police the next day. They told me they had no need to even talk with me, much less launch an investigation, and that this wouldn’t change. They found the hospital managers’ false claims amusing. According to an expert on defamation, the managers slandered me. He advises me my best action is to continue to behave with dignity and to advise the colleagues who I respect that I have done no wrong. Rather than suing, my best option is via the “court of public opinion”. I would be upset if you think I would be capable of a criminal act. I need to clarify this information with you in the hope of retaining the respect I hope you have for me as I have for you. I would appreciate any feedback from you regarding this very ugly situation.
Thank you for listening to me. Looking forward to hearing from you
Regards
***
Is this any good?
I don’t like to keep bothering you but this experience has caused me immense grief. The managers have kept me off work for months and things are still unresolved. My health has suffered, both physical and mental, and my family has been seriously affected.
This sort of thing is very common in my health sector. You would be amazed. The injustice is just so great and it keeps getting to me. I need to take a stand so it has a chance of protecting others.
Looking forward to your suggestions about my text.
Regards,
Michelle
Michelle,
I suggest something much shorter, like this.
***
I understand that on Monday 14 May 2013 management advised you that I was stood down on full pay awaiting a police investigation. I am writing to let you know that I contacted the police the following day and was advised they have no intention of interviewing me, let alone investigating. I was never contacted by the police about the matter. It thus seems that the management statement’s implication about a police investigation was incorrect.
***
You don’t need to say you were slandered: readers can figure that out for themselves. Likewise, my advice about how you should behave is best used by you alone. You don’t need to ask for feedback - people will give it to you if they feel inclined, and by keeping your comments short and factual you are more likely to gain sympathy and respect than by asking for it.
I suggest trying out the statement on one or two friends first, and then gradually send it to others you think should know.
These are just my suggestions!
Best wishes,
Brian
Brian,
Thank you so much for your advice. I truly appreciate it and will follow your advice.
All the best,
Michelle
Dear Brian,
My name is James and I have two preteen children. Our lives are being made miserable by false claims by a parent at my kids’ school. She went to the police saying I pushed her. I had to go to court with lots of eye-witness evidence showing I never pushed her, and she was the aggressor.
Despite the police dropping the charges, she continues to lie about me and my kids. It’s continued for two years, and the school has asked me to step away from school activities (I used to be heavily involved) in order to “keep the peace.”
I have plenty of documents and many witnesses, all showing she’s wrong. But many people believe her, and me and my kids have been abused.
I want to sue her for defamation. Actually, I just want her to stop! Hopefully, just serving her with a defamation writ will stop her from continuing with her never-ending slander and character assassination.
However, I can’t find in your writings where to submit a writ. I can pay a lawyer but will do all the preliminary work.
Can you please help me?
Regards,
James
Dear James,
I’m sorry to hear about what you’ve been through.
Have you read this article? “What to do when you’ve been defamed”.
You’ll see that I recommend against suing. It will cost you a heap of cash and probably won’t do anything for your reputation. Even if you win the case, what happens if she continues making her claims? Go back to court? If she goes bankrupt, you’ll have no further sanctions, and she may gain sympathy for having to pay.
I think you should consider writing a calm, factual, short (1-page) refutation of her claims and circulating it to relevant people. If there are people willing to support you, see if any of them will be the author of the refutation, or sign it.
If you want to be more thorough, you could set up a webpage providing a point-by-point rebuttal, and put the web address on the 1-pager. This will take a fair bit of work to get just right, but it’s far less work than required to prepare a legal action, and far more likely to have an impact.
It seems to me you should consider having the kids go to another school. Their welfare should be foremost, though that’s just my opinion. I know it’s unfair for them to have to move, but you should think of it anyway. (This is analogous to common advice that people targeted by bullying should consider leaving their jobs. It’s unfair but it’s often better than staying and fighting.)
Regards,
Brian
Hi Dr. Martin,
I discovered your articles "Defamation Law & Free Speech" and "What to do when you've been Defamed". They are very helpful.
We are a small nonprofit organization in the US assisting with animal rescue, with an annual budget of less than $75,000. We work only with police and other law enforcement agencies to obtain evidence and help with prosecution.
There’s a very complicated story about three animals that were impounded. The upshot was that several locals were upset and, as well as blaming animal control, took it out on us.
A woman and her friends defamed us in newspapers, public forums, blogs and local government agency meetings. They contacted agencies that we work with too, undermining our operations. It’s been a public relations disaster. We checked with lawyers and considered threatening legal action, but we can’t really afford it.
We followed your suggestion of just ignoring the abuse, but it hasn’t stopped a year later, and we may lose a contract with an agency, our biggest contract, actually the agency responsible for the problems that led to the attacks. But the agency desperately wants to avoid controversy.
What can be done? Maybe nothing, but thanks anyway for listening. We appreciate all your advice online. This sort of PR disaster doesn’t just happen to multinationals but also to little operations like ours with no budget for dealing with it.
Thanks,
Patricia
Aid for Animals
Hi Patricia,
I'm sorry to hear about your difficulties. It's horrible to be on the receiving end of a vendetta.
My thought (and you may have already done this) would be to produce a short factual set of responses to the chief allegations. It might start with a one or two paragraph summary of the issue and then have a series of rebuttals to the main criticisms. It could conclude with a statement to say that you are not suing over the defamation due to lack of money (and maybe anyway that you'd prefer that truth to speak for itself).
Another way to organise the document would be to present your own story and rebut the accusations as you go along, perhaps as passages in italics or in text boxes. The advantage of this approach is that you frame the conflict from your perspective, so the reader thinks about it from your angle. There's an excellent book by George Lakoff titled Don't Think of an Elephant about the importance of framing in politics; the same principles apply elsewhere.
This document could be prepared as a leaflet, or just a sheet of paper, to pass out whenever you are likely to be confronted with attacks. You could also put it on a website, supplemented by a more detailed rebuttal.
Then you can notify all interested parties about the website.
Before this, you may also consider asking your critics for comment on the text. That will help you refine your responses.
It's important to position yourself as the injured party. That means avoiding any hint of counterattack. You can try to think yourself into a useful mindset by imagining you are an independent observer of a similar dispute and thinking what sort of response would be most credible. Most observers will not bother going into the details of a convoluted dispute but will make their judgements based on the style of argumentation. Generally, the calmer and more factual, the better. If you can simply explain what it's all about, thoughtful readers will draw their own conclusions.
Regards,
Brian
Hi Brian,
How nice of you to respond. It was unexpected, and delightful.
All your suggestions are worthwhile. We have a busy website and so may use it for a blog, “Behind the scenes of a rescue,” revealing the sort of problems we encountered. This would explain our work and counter the accusations made against us.
Thanks again, Patricia
I came across your website and need help. I live in Alabama and have had a good job, for the past five years. This incident happened in a large store, part of a well-known chain, where I go several times each week for groceries and other goods. I always dress well and never had any trouble until this one day. Maybe it was because I was wearing a hoodie, which I don’t usually do, but that day I was feeling a bit poorly and it was raining so I didn’t want to get wet and catch a cold.
Well, for some reason this woman started following me around the store. I opened two containers of salve to make sure they looked all right inside, and took one to the counter to buy it. That’s all. But when I left the store, a policeman stopped me and searched me. He said he had received a report of a black man stealing goods from the store. The woman who had followed me came outside too and wasn’t happy when the officer said I didn’t have any stolen goods, just the jar of salve I had bought, with the receipt. She took him aside for a moment, and then he accused me of damaging goods and said I had to sign a statement saying I had done this. I refused but then he threatened to arrest me and put me in jail, so I signed the statement.
This woman hurt me badly and I’m sure that what she did in calling the police and accusing me of theft was slander. Can you recommend how to find a lawyer?
Thank you,
Billy
Dear Billy,
I'm sorry to hear about your experiences. It is distressing to be falsely accused of stealing.
There are several possible things you can do. Three options are:
1. Sue for defamation.
2. Ignore what happened.
3. Publicise what happened.
In my view, suing is by far your worst option. It will take lots of time, effort and probably money. It won't help your reputation, and could even make things worse for you.
Read my article "What to do when you've been defamed".
If you decide to publicise what happened, you should try to find a writer or journalist who will write a brief story about your experience and then publish it in a newspaper, magazine or website. It could be titled something like "An episode in stereotyping".
Your email to me is a good start for a story. You need someone who will polish the expression and make it appropriate for a particular audience.
After the story is written, an additional option is to send it to the store’s national headquarters. I don't know whether that will help, but it might be worth a try.
Regards,
Brian
Morning,
I have just read your online material about defamation.
There is a woman who keeps saying terrible things about my husband. What she says is obviously false, and she even contradicts herself. Please let me know if it’s possible to stop her. This is hurting my family.
It seems like nobody will help unless you’re fighting a corporation or have lots of money yourself. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated.
Kind regards,
Sally
Dear Sally,
Please see my article “What to do when you've been defamed.”
If you want, I could comment more specifically about your situation, in which case you should tell me something about what the person is saying and how she’s communicating (verbally, web, email, etc.).
Regards,
Brian
Hello Mr Martin,
Can you give me some advice? Here, briefly, is my attempt to explain what happened to me.
I’m a long-standing member of a church, and have been active in several committees and even given talks to women members. Just over a year ago, I met a man and started a relationship with him. But the minister didn’t like him and tried to get me to end the relationship. Eventually the minister told members of the congregation that I was in a relationship with a married man and had embezzled money from the church. Those are lies.
We are in a small community and his claims were so distressing that I attempted suicide. The stories about me continue to circulate. What’s your opinion? Can I sue for defamation?
Claire Rastopoulos
Hello Claire,
I'm very sorry to hear what happened to you.
You've been defamed, but suing is a bad idea. It won't restore your reputation and may make things worse.
I suggest that you write a short statement spelling out the truth. Find a friend to help you write it so it is short, accurate and non-emotional (that's hard!). You want to sound solid and sensible. When it's ready, give copies to all people who are important to you.
See my general comments on responding to defamation.
They are trying to hurt you. If you can, be dignified and pretend that you don't care what they say or think. Don't give them any satisfaction: be a survivor.
Best wishes,
Brian
Hi Brian, I’m contacting you about defamation. You probably know all about YouTube and how it can be used to defame. There’s a guy, who seems to be loopy, who posts videos that are libellous about our group, which is all about protecting children. He’s basically trying to destroy us. No matter how often we report him to police, he won’t stop. We went to lawyers who said they can send him a letter of demand, but it will cost $20,000 to take him to court, and we can’t afford it. How can we stop him?
Here are links to his videos. [fictional]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=horrible1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=horrible2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=horrible3
Thank you very much.
Gideon
Hi Gideon,
I’ve had a quick look - and it’s not nice.
For the time being, have a look at “What to do when you’ve been defamed.”
Monday or Tuesday I’ll send some more specific comments - I’m busy the whole weekend.
Hi Brian,
Thank you Brian. I appreciate you taking the time because the lawyers don’t have a clue. Neither do the police.
Hi Gideon,
The problem of defamatory materials on the web is a big one and there seems to be no good way to address it.
As you’ve discovered, taking legal action is incredibly expensive. In addition, it’s not guaranteed to fix the problem.
You could make a complaint to YouTube. I’m not sure whether that would make a difference but it might be worth a try. It’s unlikely to permanently solve the problem. One video might be removed but then another posted.
One option is just to ignore the videos and get on with what you do. This might be best if there’s no evidence that the videos are being taken seriously by anyone who matters to you.
Another option is to put effort into building your own website into a more impressive and credible source, and doing outreach to get others to make links to it. This will increase your site’s ranking in web searches. Then, if you want to, you could add a section to your site giving a calm, factual response to the videos attacking you. With the right meta tags, this could become the preferred page for anyone searching the web. The idea is to present yourself as calm, sensible and credible in comparison with the videos attacking you.
You might get some ideas from my article “When you’re criticised”.
I know none of these options is ideal, but there’s nothing better that I know about.
Dear Sir,
I’ve had a distressing set of experiences and would really appreciate your opinion.
Here’s the story in brief. A doctor prescribed an opioid for a condition, but kept me on it too long, and I became dependent. Then I had a psychotic episode, related to the drug or too-hasty withdrawal, and ended up in a mental facility for a few days. Thank goodness I was able to resist my urge to end my life.
The problem relates to my ex-husband. I told him, in confidence, about my situation. He used this information against me, seeking orders to prevent me seeing my two children and telling teachers at their school about it, with the result that they see me as an addict and treat me disrespectfully.
Can I sue for breach of confidence? I sent him emails and text messages, saying they were for his eyes only, but he used them in court, for all to see, as part of a custody case. Has he defamed me?
Yours,
Helen Young
Dear Helen,
I’m very sorry to hear about your terrible experiences. You are showing great strength in explaining the situation so clearly and succinctly.
Undoubtedly you could charge your ex-husband with defamation, but I strongly advise against this because it will probably not work to restore your reputation and will introduce a whole set of legal complications that may not be to your advantage. See my article "What to do when you’ve been defamed".
Far more effective is to present a short statement - a modified version of what you sent me - explaining the source of your dependence and psychosis and how this is quite different from addiction. In the statement, I don’t think you need to rebut your ex-husband’s claims or question his actions. If you explain the situation clearly, others will see his misrepresentations. Also, by not explicitly judging him, you actually make it easier for others to change their viewpoints.
After you’ve prepared your statement, check it with a few friends to ensure it’s clear and has a non-judgemental tone.
It would assist greatly to have support from a doctor. This could be in the form of a short statement from a doctor or a doctor’s endorsement of your statement. This is another reason not to mention your ex-husband in your statement.
You might also give copies of the statement to teachers at the school, and anyone else whose opinion you value who may have heard contrary stories.
At the hearing, you should take along a witness, to listen and possibly take notes, as well as provide moral support - assuming someone is allowed to attend with you. A level-headed friend is the sort of person you want.
At the hearing, you should try to appear calm, sensible and factual - the sort of person who inspires trust. This may not be easy, but it’s definitely worth attempting.
Feel free to ring if you want to discuss any of this.
Regards,
Brian
Dear Sir/Madam,
Can you give me advice on a company defaming me?
My name is Julianne Smith I live in South Australia. I have had legal dealings with my ex-boyfriend, who I broke up with over a year ago.
He is a convicted serial stalker and conman whose name is John P aka John Q. He is currently using the name Jacko Denver. His business partner and best mate Ben R aka Tom Z is a former lawyer and also a convicted criminal.
They produced an awful video about me, including editing some footage of me speaking so it only shows me being angry. It’s very misleading, and it’s libellous and defamatory. They posted it on YouTube. Here’s the link.
Who can I can talk to regarding this matter? I already asked YouTube to remove the clip, but it’s still available via web searches. What can I do?
Regards,
Julianne
Dear Julianne,
I’m sorry to hear about your difficulties. Dealing with defamatory material on the web is very difficult.
For a general overview, see my short article “What to do when you’ve been defamed”.
Let me briefly comment on your main options.
1. Request YouTube to remove the clip, as you’ve already done. This is worthwhile. Even if it’s removed, it will take time for search engines like Google to stop giving the link. Note that even if YouTube removes the clip, the two men might post it elsewhere, or post a different video (or differently labelled one) on YouTube. This can be like chasing a moving target.
2. Sue. This is probably your worst option. It will cost a lot and bog you down in legal technicalities. It may not be effective in stopping the abuse: even if you win in court, they could then put up another video.
3. Put up your own website and/or YouTube clips, presenting yourself in a positive manner. Get your friends, who have websites, to make links to your clips and to view them. The more links and views, the higher the clips will come up in Google searches. If your own clips are good, then they will eventually come up higher on Google than the current one.
If you put up a website or clip, you could reply to the allegations in the current clip, or not. Sometimes it’s better to just appear positive; but sometimes it’s useful to counter allegations. It’s almost always better to seem calm, sensible, and not vindictive. The way you appear is probably more important than exactly what you say.
4. Do nothing. Try to ignore the clip and hope others ignore it too.
You’ve already proceeded with option 1. If you have limited time to deal with this, choose option 4. If you want to put time and effort into responding, then option 3 is far better than option 2, in my view.
Regards,
Brian
Dear Brian,
I’m taking your advice and posting things about myself to detract from my ex-boyfriend’s hideous YouTube clip.
Is it illegal to post a legal document online, for example on Facebook? Maybe this is a silly question.
FYI, I’ve decided to give up fighting with my ex and dealing with his crap. I’ve done what I can. The police don’t help and the courts let him keep playing his dirty games. I guess he wins.
Regards
Julianne
Hi Julianne,
Sorry about my delay in responding. When putting documents on the web, the key issue is how people will react. Legality is often secondary. For example, most documents are copyright and posting them is an infringement, but usually no one bothers.
I hope you’re doing well creating a web presence.
Regards,
Brian
Hi Brian,
Thank you for your quick reply and advice on this matter.
I had a lawyer send an email requesting that the video be removed, that I receive a written apology and saying that I will be suing for a large amount of money.
The two goons continue to advertise and spread this video, on several social media. It’s all crap and so upsetting!
So, I just emailed my lawyer to ask if I should start making my own videos. You already answered that question for me. Do you think I could still go ahead with my own videos even though I have involved a lawyer?
Regards,
Julianne
Hi Julianne,
Sure, you can go ahead with your own videos. Just be careful not to defame the others. Try to present yourself as taking the high road, not stooping to the tactics used by those who attack you.
Regards,
Brian
Hi Brian,
Thank you so much for your help! I think I’m ready to start production! Lights, camera, action! I will be very careful to give only true facts and not lower myself to their standards.
I really appreciate your help! I’ll keep you posted. Maybe you can check out my videos!
Regards
Julianne
Julianne later sent me a link to her video.
Dear Martin,
I read your article on defamation law. Can you help me? I was insulted by the relatives of a potential client. It was a personal attack, with me being called a liar and conman.
I don’t have a big budget. Is there anything I can do? Incidentally, one of the relatives is a lawyer.
Thanks,
Anthony
Dear Anthony,
See my article “What to do when you've been defamed”.
Suing, or even threatening to sue, is almost always a bad idea.
Best wishes,
Brian
Dear Martin,
Thanks for getting back to me on a Sunday.
From your article, it seems either that you have a spare stock of gold or anyone can take potshots at your reputation.
What’s the justice in that? No doubt the lawyer who slandered me knows that I won’t sue him. Is that fair?
Anthony
Dear Anthony,
I know it’s unfair. Unfortunately, the law is not about justice.
Luckily, most people can learn to see through ill-intentioned comments, and usually can see what’s happening in blatant attacks. If you keep your cool, you will come out ahead and the person slandering you will lose credibility.
I’ve read about research showing that if Mary says bad things about Sue to Fred, Fred will actually think less of Mary. In other words, saying bad things rubs off on the person saying them.
Regards,
Brian
Dear Brian
I read your article on what to do if you have been defamed. Here’s my story. For the past three years, Cheryl, the ex-wife of my husband, has been on the warpath against us. She has slandered us to all sorts of government agencies [several listed]. When she found out that we were trying to adopt a child, she claimed to various agencies that we were unfit parents. She even went to the police with her allegations.
Her behaviour fits several of the methods described in your article, including devaluation, reinterpretation, official channels and intimidation (letters from lawyers). Some people will believe her, finding it hard to believe why anyone would make it all up.
We’ve tried to ignore it all and just get on with our lives. We’ve learned to not respond, even when baited, but it’s becoming more damaging when government agencies are involved, affecting our plans to adopt.
She has a long history of this sort of behaviour. We haven’t been the only targets. I contacted a private investigator who suggested exposing her behaviour by contacting several people she targeted in the past, taking statements and providing this information to the relevant government agencies, and doing so in a calm, rational and factual fashion.
What do you suggest? It seems like it will never stop.
Thanks,
Tracey
Dear Tracey,
I’m sorry to hear about your difficulties.
You’ve explained and analysed the situation well. I agree with the private investigator. When allegations are persistent and are having an impact, preparing an information sheet can be worthwhile. You could start by writing it based entirely on your own experiences. The sheet could have a title and a few sentences of introduction, and then have examples, with "Allegation 1: xxx" followed by "The reality 1: yyy" (or "The facts 1"), and so on through other examples. There should be some sort of conclusion and information on contacting you, and possibly others who are willing to vouch for you. Have the text checked by several people, including friends, acquaintances who didn’t know anything about this previously (Is everything you’ve written understandable? Does it sound fair?) and someone who will check that it is sound legally.
If you can find others who have had similar experiences, that’s a bonus. You can approach them and show them what you’ve written about your own experiences. This will make them more inclined to join in.
It’s a good idea not to give drafts of what you write to anyone. The safest approach is to meet people, give them a printed copy to read, obtain comments, and then collect the copy back from them. This will minimise the risk of anything being circulated that would make you vulnerable to legal action. When you are happy with the final version, you can give it or send it to anyone you like.
I’m not a lawyer. These suggestions are based on dealing with hundreds of cases - as you will know from my writings.
Regards,
Brian
Dear Brian
I tried the exposing tactic with the police yesterday. I kept my calm and presented the facts. They are now talking to her about “moving on with her life”. The police advised me that they will be taking the matter no further.
Tracey
Dear Brian,
Suppose Alpher sends a libellous message to Medville about Crothers. Crothers learned about this email and wants to sue Alpher, due to damage to Crothers because Medville didn’t give some business to Crothers. Medville is reticent about the libellous message from Alpher, only telling Crothers that “your business references are unsatisfactory”. Can Crothers sue Alpher for this damage to his reputation? Alpher seems determined to continue making libellous statements, unless restrained. Crothers can’t obtain the key evidence - the libellous message. Maybe the libellous message has been deleted, or is hidden away somehow. Can Crothers sue for defamation? Is there any useful precedent for proceeding without having a copy of the message?
Zac
Dear Zac,
Crothers needs to obtain strong evidence - documents or testimony - in order to have any chance with a defamation action.
Normally suing isn’t a good idea anyway - it seldom helps your reputation and nearly always hurts your bank balance.
Another way to deal with this is to approach Alpher and say you’ve heard they have been making derogatory comments about you. If Alpher agrees, then you have first-hand evidence. However, it’s much more likely that Alpher will deny making any such comments. In this case, you thank Alpher and say you’ll follow up with an email confirming the conversation to ensure that they aren't falsely accused of making derogatory comments. You follow up with the email summarising the conversation, with a copy to Medville. Sometimes this is enough to discourage Alpher from making any further such comments, because any further derogatory comments from Alpher will reveal Alpher to be a liar.
Regards, Brian
Hello,
We are looking for a lawyer who can remove abusive personal information from this website: http://www.conversations.html [not the actual URL]
The website is hosted in the US. We contacted the hosting company and received the following response:
Hello,
Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do as they are not violating the terms of service. You would need to contact a lawyer and if they can provide us with a Cease and Desist order we will be able to have our client remove this content.
Technical Support
Feel free to contact me for more information.
Ikonic
Hello Ikonic,
Sorry to hear you’ve been subject to abuse.
I must say I found the website http://www.conversations.html confusing. It looks like you posted on 24 April the criticisms of you and Illustrade.
For my general comments on what to do, see “What to do when you’ve been defamed.”
It seems to me that your main options are:
1. Ignore it
2. Get your supporters to put in positive comments on the website, etc.
3. Put a reply on your own website
4. Sue
Suing is the worst option in many cases. It is expensive, slow and sometimes only makes things worse - your attacker might post on other websites.
Regards,
Brian
Hello Brian,
How much will it cost to send the hosting company a Cease and Desist order?
Ikonic
Ikonic,
I don’t know. Contact a lawyer and ask the price.
Regards,
Brian